It’s been a little while since I’ve last written and I feel today is a pretty appropriate day to write.
Today’s had its ups and downs. As of right now, I’m pretty sure the downs outweigh the ups significantly.
We’ll start at the beginning. I went to class, then more class, then to the business office at school, then more class, then one more class. Pretty dull. After that, my weekend officially began and I went off with a couple friends to wander downtown Portland and get food cart food. I got some really great Filipino food that reminds me a lot of my mother’s cooking. I was ashamed that I couldn’t find room in my stomach to finish it. Then I got mini-donuts and a mango bubble tea and went off to Powell’s City of Books (if you have a passion for books, this is your Utopia). I bought myself a hard cover copy of The Indispensable Dante, which includes The Divine Comedy, La Vita Nuova, and excerpts from the Latin Prose works. The book is a little worn, but sixty-two years of wear and tear will do that to just about anything/anyone. It’s an adorable little treasure; I’m quite lucky to have found it at such a great price.
Here’s where things started to go downhill.
After returning to campus, I decided to have a little text-chat with my mom. I let her know that I got my first paycheck from my new job in the mail and about the Filipino food cart I found. She told me to take a picture of the check. Then, I reminded her that my fall break is coming up in three weeks. She was quick to reply, “I thought you were staying there for your break.” This is not at all the case. I’ve actually been planning to come back in October since… well, since I got here.
So, I texted my father and let him know that my break was coming up. He replied with a very cold, “Well, better save your money for your ticket.” I’m pretty sure he knows that I can’t buy my own plane ticket (which costs a little over $200 both ways). After relaying to Mom what he’d said, she attempted to assure me that my dad would probably change his mind and buy me a ticket. I then proceeded to remind her that every day he waits to buy the ticket, the price climbs.
So, basically, there’s a pretty big chance that I will be spending nine days in October by myself, in a stuffy room, wallowing in a pool of my own tears. I won’t be able to see my family, my boyfriend, or my boyfriend’s family until practically Christmas. It’s reached the point where I can’t even think about this scenario without tearing up. I just want to be home for a couple days. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want to sit on the couch and play abnormally violent video games with my boyfriend. I just want to not be at school, constantly stressing out.
I just want to go home.